I sit there smiling and throwing words into a conversation I lost track of long ago. My mind has left my body and goes back to a place in the past, another place and then another. Some are places and times I know, but others I only feel like I know.

There is always a pattern. It always ends up the same.

A dull ringing, a numb feeling. The cycle repeats and the universe says, “Let’s start again, here is another chance for you to surpass what your past lives could not. Take all the time you need. As many tries as it takes.”

My eyes lose focus and I feel the tears forming, streaming down my cheeks and I smile, “Okay, I’ll do my best.”

I come back into focus and everyone is looking at me. My cheeks are wet and I realise I have actually been crying, “Sorry, I just thought about something that made me emotional.”

I’m met with looks of concern and awkward glances.

Taking myself to the bathroom to clean up, I look at my face in the mirror and see countless other faces around my own spreading out in all directions. I have never seen any of these faces but my own, yet I know them all. They are all me.

“I don’t know the answer, but I feel like I’m getting close.”

I close my eyes and splash water on my face.